FoodHax

Just before Christmas, I was treated to the most perfectly cooked steak I have ever eaten in my whole life at a restaurant called The Deanery. I know, steak is fairly subjective. However, my father has been a butcher for nearly forty years. Sans most of my teenage years where my ultimate rebellion against my parents was to become vegetarian and even vegan, I have grown up eating the best cuts of meat available.

I am in two minds about sharing my secret restaurants. On one hand, especially in this case where I have pretty much bragged to anyone who will listen about this fantastic steak, I love to share. On the other hand, and such is the dilemma when your favourite restaurant gets reviewed in a mainstream broadsheet’s food lift out, you don’t want the experience ruined by any old prole with enough savvy to “Google” or ask yahoo for an answer.

It was someone’s sweet someteenth birthday this weekend just gone, and I took them out for delicious steak to celebrate.

The Deanery change their menu fairly regularly (well, regularly enough that the menu had changed at least once since I had visited the month before), and I was a bit fretful that my beloved filet steak in red wine jus was noticeably absent.

Firstly, sourdough style bread with fruity olive oil and perfectly tartsweet balsamic vinegar.

(please excuse the lack of focus)
The shucked to order oysters dressed in lemon and olive oil are a divine gift from the ocean gods.

Calamari, though cooked to perfection, looked a little bit sad and soggy in person. They were quite photogenic though. And delicious.

Then, two T Bone steaks the size of your head. I could not finish mine. It was cooked to perfect medium, the flesh falling off the bone. Served with a side of potatoes.

The Deanery have an impressive wine cellar to accompany their menu, however we stuck with beer from their small selection of local and imports.
For a classy establishment we still managed to pay less than $150 for two people including drinks and tips. An amazing restaurant.

The Deanery:
13 Bligh Place
Melbourne VIC 3000
t: +61 3 9629 5599
www.thedeanery.com.au

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Hello Foodhax, I haven’t forgotten you.

Here are some photos of what I’ve been eating lately. OK? Regular programming soon.

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I am lousy at writing restaurant reviews. I had some good breakfasts last weekend. Both delicious, both completely different scenes. Poached is around the corner from my humble abode and I have found myself eating a greasy, eggy hangover curing breakfast there on semi frequent occasion. Batch is quite the nice little cafe however the music was a bit loud, and the other Saturday morning patrons talking loudly as a result made it difficult to hold a conversation. According to my breakfast date, this isn’t usually the norm. Being a uni student, she has the luxury of the occasional weekday breakfast there and apparently it is much quieter ambience wise.

Batch:
Shop 1 320 Carlisle Road
Balaclava VIC 3183


Blueberry Pancakes with Maple Syrup
(not quite pictured: Avocado & Fetta mash. This looked so amazing, I had food regret).
Perfectly fluffy pancakes with hidden blueberries lightly dusted with icing sugar. Not hard to screw up. I loved the little vial of maple syrup, and the peppermint leaf tea was a nice little touch, too.

Poached:
169 Lygon St
Brunswick East VIC 3057
T: 03 9387 2396

Omelette with Gypsy ham, tomato, fetta and mushrooms
My breakfast: I thought I’d give the egg battle another go, but I failed miserably. In saying that, the omelette was sufficiently delicious, but my stomach just doesn’t like to co-operate with my egglust.

Eggs Florentine
I would have to be feeling pretty self destructive to attempt any type of poached or soft boiled egg. I have it on good authority from my breakfast date that the Eggs Florentine is AAAAAAAA+++++++ would eat again.

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Once upon a time a few years ago I was going to meet a few friends down at Revolver on Chapel Street for some birthday drinks. I had shown up early (as I am prone to being a punctual fascist), and rather than drink one $6 wine at a time, I knew I could drink two house wines for the same price up the road at the Duke of Windsor Hotel. Where is this going? What does this have to do with Hax? Or Food? Well. The Duke of Windsor were forced to close due to rising rents and what not (a likely story… well, yes. The Punters Club in Fitzroy met exactly the same fate… later to be reborn as the Northcote Social Club) and it was promptly turned into a trendy pizzeria called The Lucky Coq.

Five of us ended up down there after work (or not after work in my case) on Wednesday night to partake in some rebranded CUB brew and $4 pizzas*.

While waiting for Special O’Clock, we snacked on a generous $4 bowl of roasted pitted olives, with a few garlic cloves thrown in for good measure (Yes!). The in house brew (which is actually some rebranded generic beer from the CUB), The Blonde Coq (There’s also a stout called the Black Coq) is a refreshing wheat beer not dissimilar to Hoegaarden or those trendy lo-carb beers that are about now. It’s also known as the Blonde Bimbo at it’s sister pizzeria. Only two of us partook in the beer at first, the other three indulged in some of the flavoured vodkas available (Tangerine! To name just one…) and we tried an Evil Twin (Vanilla vodka, Apple juice, Red Bull and far too easy to drink) later on in the night.

The pizzas are amazing for $4. Even for their usual price (or unusual, the specials span across most of the day) all are less than $10.
Thin crisp and bubbly bases covered with quality toppings, I sampled the Caesar (Basically a Caesar salad on a pizza) and the Napoletana. The mouthful of Caesar I had was delicious, missing the egg but still delicious. Nice and bitey from the anchovies and bacon. The Napoletana, missing the mozzarella you’d probably expect from one of those home delivery places but including olives, capers and an obvious smattering of chilli over tomato passata. My only gripe with the pizza is that I found myself redistributing the toppings over the pizza a bit more evenly, and it’s not justified considering how long it takes to get to the table from actually ordering the pizza.

The dessert pizzas are also included in the $4 special, of which I tried the Apple and the Chocolate. Slightly smaller size, uneven topping distribution, they use dark cooking chocolate buds (I’m not really a fan of dark chocolate on its own) melted straight onto the pizza. Overall, they were pretty good for $4 but I would have ordered a Berry Pizza had I known that they used dark chocolate.

Overall the bar has a pretty trendy atmosphere but I can’t help but feel a bit jaded about the Duke of Windsor’s fate. The decor is a bit bohemian bourgeoise, and the soundtrack agreeable (I could recognise Bowie, The Strokes, MGMT, Arcade Fire and PJ Harvey).
The service leaves a bit to be desired as we waited quite a while for our pizzas (our count being impaired by the quantity of beer consumed to pass the time). I guess as a bistro style joint where you order at the counter (from rubber hipped kids just as unimpressed about gentrification as you are) and pick up your own cutlery in such a trendy place as Chapel Street, this kind of service is de-rigueur.

Lucky Coq
179 Chapel St
Windsor VIC 3181
T: 9525 1288
W: www.luckycoq.com.au

*$4 Pizza specials are from 12noon-4pm (Mon-Fri) and 7pm-11pm (Sun-Thurs). The kitchen is open until 2:30am.

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